Often when someone steps into a desire to want to expand deeper within themselves healing can be messy, especially if they don’t realize that in order to do that, things that no longer serve them must rise to the surface to be released. It’s all OK – let’s talk about it…

Why am I saying that Healing Can Be Messy… And That’s OK! (?)

Because, so often when someone steps into a desire to want to expand deeper within themselves, they don’t realize that in order to do that, the things that no longer serve them must rise to the surface to be released.

The energy in our body has to circulate and renew itself, and this includes our mental thought patterns as well. To put it in terms of a physical process it can be like making ghee (clarified butter) and the separation process begins…

Breathing Break  {01:09}

But before I go deeper into today’s topic please (as we do in every episode) let’s get present and take a deep breathe in through our nose and a really long exhale out our mouth. Inhale 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 – and exhale 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…

Focused breathing is by far the fastest way to bring our focus back to the moment and into our-self.

And if you’re feeling a bit tense, or frustrated – try a quick inhale through your nose and a strong “ha” sound out your mouth. You can do this 3-5 times and then simply go back to inhaling to a count of 5 and making your exhale longer to a count of 7 or more…  This can be great to do in the car after a frustrating experience….

{02:55} It’s good to remember that we have so much control over how we feel in our bodies and it begins with how we focus our minds and today I want to lovingly remind you that Healing Can Be Messy… And That’s OK!

Why do I say it that way… It’s because I’ve found throughout the years of working with my clients and students in Chinese medicine and medical Qigong that it’s often a surprise to people when energy begins to actually move differently within their physical bodies and thought forms begins to surface which causes them to go through periods of time when they don’t feel as great as they were hoping they would. 

I mentioned the separation process in making Ghee at the beginning of this episode, so let me explain how it relates here – when you make ghee you’re larifying a process to remove all water and milk solids and leaving the butterfat which is easier to digest in the body, especially for people who are lactose intolerant. 

Put in simple terms, we’re removing the elements that the body has difficulty processing (the milk solids in particular), or said in another way, we’re removing elements that create sluggish energy in digestion, and allowing the most beneficial and higher energy parts to remain, so it can be digested and transformed inside the body as fuel.

It’s the same when we talk about energetic medicine and healing. 

When we begin to transform our energy and move into a place where we are really in tune with our heart’s desire, a more aligned and expanded space of receiving guidance from – it’s necessary to be open to separating what’s keeping you stuck and stagnant and what will allow your energy to begin to flow freely.

This means that things that do not serve us anymore – things that are keeping us stuck in our mental well-being, our emotional well-being, our spiritual well-being and our physical well-being need to be cleared and released. This often sounds great to people – but when energy actually begins to transform it can be a little different than what was expected.

In medical Qigong and Traditional Chinese medicine there are always 3 stages that are used to prepare us for successful shifts in our energy system.

#1 The first stage is to let go. Traditionally called “purge,” but that word can be a trigger for many people with not so graceful images, so when I teach or work privately I use the word “let go, or release.” 

Our bodies are made up of pathways of energy systems – some of those pathways are called meridians or channels and they flow in every part of our body – they connect and interweave and they all have opening points. 

I like to think of them as hoses and if those hoses stay fluid, stretched and long there is great flow of energy – but when they get congested, or kinked in some way – stagnation is easily created.

If you don’t open and unwind the hoses – you won’t have consistent fluidity. The pressure goes up and down and blockage occurs. It’s the same when we talk about flow in energetic medicine – whether we’re talking about emotional healing, stress, overwhelm or physical pain and illness… 

There’s a releasing processes that must take place to move into a new vibration for the next stages to occur.

#2 The second stage in healing is to begin to strengthen your energetic system. Traditionally called to “tonify. This is where I say – healing can be messy and it’s Ok because most people want to jump into this strengthening stage instead of doing the clearing stages first. Which is understandable because the clearing stages can be messy.

But, not letting go and clearing simply piles energy on top of what needs to be let go – like trying to pump more water into an already clogged hose and expecting it to flow freely – it doesn’t make sense. You wouldn’t do that. But when it comes to ourselves, we often try to move energy out of force instead of learning the skills to unwind and unblock first.

#3 The third stage is to regulate the energy. And this is where creating lasting shifts really occur. 

By moving through the releasing what doesn’t serve your energy anymore (through understanding our belief systems, our output of energy through our reactions and responses) we are able to let go and create space for a higher vibration of alignment to be available to us.  

Then when we move into state 2 and begin to strengthen our energy, we’re actually building a solid foundation to support our lives through an energetic practice. How we learn to strengthen our internal energy flow and re-supply our energy reserves is huge in how much we can create in the experiences and relationships of our daily lives.

In the third stage of regulating our energy we’re simply practicing the integration of energy flow. 

So why is it OK that healing can be messy? 

When things in our lives begin to surface it can be really uncomfortable. But it’s a gift. 

It may not feel like it at the time, because it can throw us off kilter, make us feel vulnerable and bring out a slew of emotions that we may not even know were there. 

When we resist these experiences (that can feel really messy) our ego steps in. 

But, what if we were to practice moving into a space where we could accept something uncomfortable happening( that maybe even feels “messy)” and inquire about it on a deeper level? 

A level way past the ego – and discover if I can move through what’s happening here with greater grace and ease?

If you get to this point – some of the best questions you can ask yourself are…


What kind of support would serve me now? 

Do I have to go through this alone?

How can I best support myself right now in how I’m feeling?


Instead we often resist strongly against experiences that are uncomfortable because we’re afraid, or afraid of being weak, or to be fair, we’re simply so overwhelmed we get confused.

The good news is the more we get used to stopping and tuning in to a deeper part of ourselves – that “wisdom part” of ourselves that’s truly connected to an expanded space of Divine consciousness, the easier the messy stuff gets.

It’s why I always remind you to breathe at the beginning of my podcasts.


Because when we’re in the mist of a mess, it’s the very basic foundational things that we need to use first. 

It’s OK…

It’s OK if your going through messy things because it can be the best opportunity to clear out what isn’t serving your highest good anymore.

And it’s OK to get support.

And it’s OK to be quiet.

And it’s OK to take your time in making decisions.

And it’s OK to just take a nap.

In fact naps are a fantastic way to reset your energy…

So if you’re feeling overwhelmed and life feels messy, it’s OK to want to clean it up. 

And if you haven’t listened to episode #007 called “Your internal guidance system” there are some insights and tools in that episode you can use right away as well.  Also remember that show notes for every episode are located on mariafurlano.com/blog

And just know that it can be really valuable to have some patience with yourself and understand that the steps you take to clear, strengthen and stay balanced and flowing can be some of the most valuable steps you ever take to support, expand and bring joy to your life’s journey.

Thank you for being here and I look forward to hearing your thoughts.

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