Self Compassion

Freedom from the "needs & should's"
Self Compassion
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Self Compassion

Freedom From The "Needs & Should's"

by Maria Furlano, DMQ/DTCM (China), MTOM, L.Ac.


One of the greatest assets in our life is our ability to focus. People pay thousands of dollars to learn how to improve their performance by improving their focus. People learn how to create schedules, with strict disciplines to better manage time and complete project's. But what about another valuable asset… tuning in to your own self compassion? Where does this asset of yourself fit into your life and accomplishments? 

Let me be very clear… I know the value of creating discipline for the mastery of skills and projects. I also firmly believe in creating a schedule, life and mindset that serves your highest spiritual elevation on a daily basis.

And… I know that it's very easy to get so distracted in our daily life by what we feel we "should be doing," or by what other's suggest we "need to be doing." If these distractions and mental chatter go on for any length of time, we can loose essential parts of ourselves. 


The freedom of self compassion

The energetic drain of "I should" & "I need to"

I know for myself it's taken me a long time to get out of the "I should and I need" mindset. During times of stress I notice these old saying's often try to rise up in me. Many of private clients have spoken about the exhausting process of constantly feeling they should be doing something else, or doing something in a better way.  

In today's environment and information ready culture, we're constantly exposed to new idea's and techniques that are presented as bettering our lives. It's so easy to get caught up and feel like you're "behind" in some way.

The "needs & should's" can get louder in our minds, especially when we're dealing with any kind of stress, fear or feeling competition in our lives. We hear in our head all the things we "should or need" to be doing differently.

So many times we think it will be easier to look in a new direction, when we haven't even looked at the blessings we have in that particular moment. As a culture we're so into what is the newest and greatest thing, that we often dismiss the value of what's right in front of us.


But what if what you are doing right now was enough?

What if you took a little time to settle into where you were right now and really looked at the the path in front of you?

Would you be willing to tune in to that quiet part of yourself that will give you the perfect answers and support? 


Creating a space for self compassion

"The best way to shift a habit, is by filling yourself with compassion & gently holding the energy of what surfaces."

Because I work with energetic alignment in every aspect of my life – I know that when I want to shift something that is not serving me, I can't be a bully to it. Whenever I've done that in the past it has always come back to bite me and the shift has never lasted. 

If your heart and mind are not a team with any change you desire to create, you will be separate in alignment with yourself. 

"The mind is the focus that will direct your energy, but the heart must be open and willing. For it's the heart that will bring that energy into full transformation." ~ Maria Furlano

I realize this is not easy for many people because they have closed off compassion for themselves. We can become extremely hard on ourselves, yet still be loving towards others.


One of the first things needed for healing and to create any transformation, is the willingness to open yourself to your own compassion. 

Awareness is always the first door you must be willing open. If you're willing to look at your alignment (or misalignment) with your own self compassion, you're already on your way to shifting anything in your life that you desire.

Begin by looking at your view of compassion towards others and towards yourself on a daily basis.

Keep a daily or weekly journal and jot down the mental chatter you direct towards yourself. 

Remember the first step is awarenss, but also patience. If you have learned to not be as compassionate, loving and supportive of your own being, remember it's most likely been going on for a while.

Take the time to get to know your mental voice. And know that it's your voice and you have the ability to connect with the energy of your heart and create any changes you desire.


And You?

Is being compassionate with yourself as easy for you as having compassion for others? Please share your insights below!


Wishing you so much love for yourself and your life.

Signature Maria Furlano tagline Personal energetic cultivation is at the heart of everything I teach.




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