Positive Thinking vs. Alignment | episode #026 transcript
By: Maria Furlano, DMQ (China), MTOM, L.Ac.
Intro: Welcome to The Art Of Tuning In Podcast with Maria Furlano, sharing insights, tools and conversations to inspire your energetic well being.
Hello, and welcome this Maria Furlano. Thank you for joining me on The Art Of Tuning In Podcast. I’m thrilled that you’re here. And today I’m going to be talking about positive thinking versus alignment. And the reason why I think this topic is great for this week is because right now, and for so many months now, there’s just been so much chaos, and I see people around me. And I’ve experienced this myself to trying to be really positive, or going to an extreme of just feeling complete hopelessness.
And I want to talk about in energetic terms today, really the differences between positive thinking and aligned thinking.
But first, as always, let’s tune in and take a few deep breaths just to bring us into the present moment. If you’re new here, welcome. I always take just a moment in the beginning of my podcast episode, to just breathe, tune in and connect with ourselves. And I asked you, if you’ll take a nice deep breath in through your nose and make your exhale even longer out your mouth. And when we make our exhale even longer, it really helps relax our nervous system calms our heart rate. And it’s just a wonderful practice to be able to do anywhere, no matter what you’re doing to just bring you into the present. So take a nice deep breath in through the nose. And when you’re ready, just let it go out your mouth.
One thing that I do with members in my online studio, is I asked them how they’re really feeling in that moment. So we have our live class calls, and in the beginning I usually just take a moment and say, anyone who wants to participate, please just share (in like a sentence or less) how you really feel in this exact moment, no judgement, nothing, just how you really feel. And I always share how I feel.
And the reason why I do this is very similar to why I always incorporate a pause, or a breath or a tuning in at the beginning of these episodes is because the more inhabit that we get being honest with ourselves with being present with ourselves, the more we’re in control of our own energy. This is really important. We don’t give our power away if we really know who we are. And we understand our own energetic alignment.
And the reason why I say being honest with ourselves is so important is because as a culture, we spend an incredible amount of time being really good at distracting ourselves.
So a lot of times, people will not share I mean, how many times have do we just walk past someone? And we say hello. But then somebody says, “Hi, how are you?” But they don’t really mean” how are you?” They just keep walking -right? It’s just this phrase that we use. “Hi, how are you?” “Fine,” right? I mean, you probably say “good, I’m good. Yeah, great, how are you?” And then you just keep walking…
And you know, that’s fine. Everybody is just trying to be pleasant to each other. But there’s something in that, that we don’t really listen to how we feel. And what I really care about, especially with people that I work with, is that we listen to ourselves. A lot of times we feel like we can’t share with other people because they don’t really care enough to listen, we don’t feel like we have people around us who really want to hear, that maybe we’re really not doing that Okay. We also may not want to be that vulnerable, which is, of course completely understandable. It’s not appropriate to share with every single person how we’re feeling, but I think that as we move forward in the energetic advancement and growth and connection and alignment of cultures and the world, honesty about how we’re feeling is so incredibly important. And if we can’t be really honest with how we feel in each moment, then I don’t think we’re ever really going to be able to have honest and true conversations with each other on a bigger format.
Alignment is not forced
And when we try to feel better, I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t all try to feel better. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t have more positivity in our life. And I’m not saying that when you move towards positive things, that it doesn’t shift your energy because it does.
But the difference between positive thinking and actual alignment of your energy is very different. If you’re forcing that positive thinking, or you’re trying so much to distract yourself, that you never really tune in to how you feel in the first place.
So what I see a lot of is people trying so hard to feel better, or to just get themselves through whatever they’re going through, that they exhaust their energy, we don’t realize how much energy it takes to try to be something that we’re not when our energy is in alignment. When we take the time to breathe, when we take the time to quiet ourselves for a moment, when we really go within and align into the earth and align into divine energy, universal energy, whatever feels right to you into nature, we actually align our energy in such a way that we are given energy, we actually increase our energy flow, we’re not trying and pushing. And that’s alignment. alignment is energy flow. It’s not trying and pushing.
And so when I say the difference between trying to be positive, trying to have positive thinking, trying to distract ourselves from how we really feel, takes a lot of energy, when oftentimes, let’s say you’re not feeling well, and I’m not talking, I’m talking emotionally, right now, physically, it’s the same, but right now I’m just talking about emotionally, let’s say you are really angry, well, it takes a lot of energy to shove that anger down and keep it held at bay. And when you’re able to move that energy of anger. So the movement of anger is very much an upward in an outward movement. Anger can often propel us forward, it actually used in a positive way. Anger is something that helps move us out of a state that we’re in and into forward motion. And we can do that without violence. You know, people think, Oh, I’m angry and anger is violent, and I don’t want to be violent. And so I’m going to shove my anger down. And that’s not what I’m talking about at all I’m talking about. Anger is a propelling forward, upward, outward movement that can bring about really good things because it sparks something in us most of the time when we’re angry, for example, it’s because our boundaries have been crossed emotional boundaries, physical boundaries, mental boundaries, spiritual boundaries, doesn’t matter. But anger in accordance with Chinese Medicine and Medical Qigong is also related to boundaries. It’s also related to the origin of the liver, which the energy of the liver very much is about our boundaries, and also about creativity.
And so this forward motion, this growth, this outward expanding, is really beneficial. And a lot of times when we’re feeling angry, feeling resentful, that can be another part of anger, we start to shove it down to ignore it, or to just function. When really, if we would take just a few moments by ourselves, do some in the online studio, I teach something called shaking the bones, which is a very common Qigong exercise where you shake the body and it can really release not only tension in the body and stagnation and move the lymphatic flow, but it also helps move the emotional energy of the body and help discharge it so that we can let it go easier. And so you can do something physical like that working out is a great way to move anger, move frustration, right or resentment. But also if you have someone who you trust, who you can talk to maybe it’s a friend, maybe it’s a therapist, a healer, whoever is in your circle that you can trust. It actually doesn’t have to be even very long conversation. And it does not have to be a heated conversation.
And what I mean by that is, just because you feel angry doesn’t mean that you have to have a conversation that’s full of anger. A lot of people are very afraid to really talk to someone about how they’re feeling, because they’re really afraid of all of the emotions that might surface and that they might lose control. And then they may be, of course, very vulnerable.
But I just want to put out there that when we feel something, when we feel an emotion, the sooner that we can address it, the less it starts to stifle and get pushed down, and we do things to ignore it, and then it becomes so much bigger than it actually was to begin with. And when we are able to express ourselves, that emotion is able to be heard, be honored, and it begins to unravel, it begins to be able to be let go, the energy of it is no longer holding tight in your body, and you’re able to unwind what’s been pretty much pent up like a big knot.
Because if you’re feeling an emotion, and you’re holding the emotion, no matter what it is, you know, I’m saying anger, but it could be sadness, it could be fear, it could be any, any emotion. The longer we hold on to that emotion, the more energy builds with it, right? Everything is always in motion, it’s always moving. And when we address it, that energy being honored being addressed, is able to unwind and move. And of course, it eliminates itself. And you have more energy, I just want you to think this week about how much energy you might be spending, holding down how you really feel, how much energy is it taking you to try to be a certain way? And how different would it be if you could just take a little time, align your true energy, and also speak your truth.
So the last couple podcasts, because right now in October, we’re in the time of autumn. This is the time of the organ’s energy of the lung in the large intestine. And it’s a time when things can surface in the lung.
So I’ve been talking a lot about the emotions of the lung, the sadness and the grief and the sorrow and the shame and the guilt. And that’s a lot of emotions that can be really stored in that lung energy. And I just want to suggest that if you feeling heavy in your emotional chest, in your lungs, that you just explore what it would be like to be able to speak to someone to share.
Speaking your truth
This time, the autumn, the lung energy is all about speaking for what is true for you. It’s speaking your integrity, it’s speaking your truth. And so how much energy might you be spending holding in your truth? Instead of speaking your truth? How much energy is it taking you to hold in your frustration, your anger, your resentment, rather than being able to gently and freely express how you feel in an honorable way, which again, connects in with the lung energy of speaking truth. If you’re having a lot of fear come up, how much energy is being drained by you suppressing that fear? And trying to be you know, something other than how you’re really feeling in the moment?
What would it feel like for you to really align your energy and speak your truth in healing work, one of the things that really propels forward motion in healing is a surrender. And people often mistaken surrendering their energy to giving up That’s not at all what it is in when we talk about healing.
When we surrender our energy when we’re dealing with an illness, when we’re dealing with emotional issues, when we’re dealing with pain in the body… When we surrender our energy, we actually allow energy to flow in our body because we stopped fighting it so much.
We stopped trying to get through and hoping it’ll go away and distracting ourselves and we actually face what’s going on and we’re able to soften ourselves.
We’re able to open our hearts a bit more, we’re able to relax our bodies a bit more we’re able to listen more to the wisdom that our body is always sharing with us and hopefully if we can tune into divine energy, universal energy, nature, whatever it is for you. There’s wisdom that’s always being shared with you. That way to a higher wisdom that we can’t see ourselves in everyday life, this 360 degree view that understands us on a deeper level, we have access to that when we align our energy.
When we stop pushing, we stop draining our energy
And when we stop pushing, we stop draining our energy. So that’s really all I want to share today. There’s so many examples in the world right now where people are coming together, sharing more being more vulnerable. It can be a little scary, if that’s new for you. And it may take small steps to small steps. First of all, if you don’t know where to begin with this is to just say, How am I really feeling just to yourself to yourself, nobody else? If you journal, it’s great to be able to journal but just stopping and saying, How do I really feel right now? Do I even know how I really feel right now. And I only say that I don’t say that flippant in any way.
But again, because we distract ourselves so much. We’ve gotten so good at it. We may not know for a little while how we really feel you might honestly, do this exercise and ask yourself, How do I feel right now and you may feel kind of blank kind of numb kind of funny about it, you might immediately feel this urge to go and do something else you might hear in your head, oh, this is stupid, or whatever it is. That’s normal. That’s okay. If you have been in a place where you’ve been kind of tuning out, instead of tuning in, or you’ve been distracting yourself, or you just haven’t really wanted to face things, or you felt like I should just be positive, I should just be positive, I should just be positive. But your positivity isn’t really being honest with how you’re feeling, then it may take a little while. You know, it may take a few days, it may take a couple weeks, it may may take a month for you to actively continue to say to yourself, how do I really feel right now? How do I feel in my body? What am I really thinking, what is my heart really telling me? What do I really want right now. And then all of a sudden, your body, your wisdom will start to speak to you. And however it is that you receive that information. Everybody’s different, but it will it speak to you.
When you receive that information of how you really feel it’s very empowering.
Because it’s honesty that you can’t ignore. You have a choice to move through how you feel and not drain your energy. So just a thought for this week, really tuning in. Really understanding what alignment of your own energy is physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.
I wish you a beautiful week. There’s a lot going on. I just wish you love and care and I thank you for being here. And I know that everyone, all of us are doing the absolute best that we can in every moment and I just send you all big love.
Outro: Thank you for tuning in. If you’d like to learn more and elevate your energetic well being I invite you to visit The Art Of Tuning In Podcast comm where you can learn all about our online studio. I look forward to meeting you there.